christina’s Blog

for quite sometimes already i didn’t update my blog here…because of busy?tired? i have no idea…sometimes just feel like nothing to do with the pc while online-ing…okay..i make a short description about what had happened within this month…lolz…my 18th birthday located on this month..i received many wishes from all my friends…however i didn’t do what i planned to do so…the things which i planned before…aiya whatever la..my friends gave me a surprise..they celebrated my birthday earlier..lydia brought me to have a LONG walk in night market while others prepared things in my house..while i reached home i saw my house was dark…i felt weird..i thought they’re having pillow talk..’how come ah?having pillow talk?omg…’ when i entered my house i saw the candles’ light..i guessed what was going to happen next..may be i’m clever la..haha…they sang the birthday song with poh ann handling the cake…i didn’t really surprise but words just couldn’t flow out from my mouth…thank you,my friends..i appreaciate it…i love the pillow also..haha..since i didn’t get a pillow as birthday present before..haha but then now long term holidays is going to be started..time to play??time to study??i wish i could do the later one..

once again i would like to call this 1 week-holiday an end…during this holidays many of my friends back to ipoh from colleges,matrics,universities.we came together to play again..yum cha..basketball..badminton..snooker…watch ‘final destination 4′ and ’saw’ in xi dei’s house…celebrated cikgu’s birthday..pasar malam etc…the feelings was good..it seemed like back to the moments we had together last time…although i had to attend many tuition classes,but still i wished to spend sometime with all my dear dear friends…i went to winnie’s birthday party and met old old friends..and also dressed nicely to attend my grandpa’s birthday dinner…hehee…i took lots of pictures which i could save them in a folder and review them next time…in addition my mum’s birthday is the day before cikgu’s birthday..once again i was shy to wish her..so i asked the baby and pushed her to wish mummy..haha..the little baby even sang a birthday song for her..walao…geng…3 weeks later is my final examination for lower six syllabus…but yet i haven put effort in the preparation…it’s not right i know… however i no longer being moody like last time…i’m happy at this moment..and i enjoy it..i believe that with all these happy moments,i will even try my best and do my best in this final examination…KAMPARTEH….all my dear friends..meet you all in the next holidays lurr…^^

yesterday was my best friend and ‘old tablemate’s birthday…before that cartoon and kar lin already planned a suprising party for her..i said yes immediately when karlin told me about this..i was excited…there have been around 10 months i didn’t see her..only chat in msn and facebook or view her recent looks through the pics…last time our gang tried to plan to hang out but it failed…this is a golden opportunity for us to come together…cartoon,it’s undeniable that i want to praise you at here..your idea is absoulutely work!!for sure winnie will feel touched^^…but…it didn’t happen like what i imagine..i thought that i could have a crazy and happy night with her and the school gang…but…only yesterday evening my mum told that we had to attend a dinner…i was forced to follow as no one could send me to jusco if i didn’t follow…i didn’t eat much..i had no mood to eat..only at that time i know how’s the feeling when one person’s heart has flied away whereby the entire body is still there…i was emotionless…right after the dinner, i rushed to jusco to meet them…words couldn’t describe what’s my feelings at that time…i just felt like wana hug all my best buddies there….winnie was suprised i think…as i told them not to tell her that i will come on that day…we took pictures…had a short chat about each other’s lives…and i got to leave right after that as my parents were waiting outside..i’m useless…when jac said that i became more silent after form 6 and winnie asked me why…i couldn’t control myself..tears flew down over my cheeks…i miss you all…i miss the time the whole gang chit-chatting together..laughing together…upon thinking all these moments i couldn’t stop my tears and i just tried my best to wipe them away…they cried also..suet mae…karlin..jac…winnie…we just hugged each other…instead of talking other things…the time for all of us to gather together only lasted not more than 30minutes…it’s short…but there’s something inside….true friendship…the moment of sour,sweet,bitter and spicy which we undergo it together…no word could express it…i just wana say,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,my dear friend….

these few days i’m having sore throat and flu…signs of H1N1??lolz..luckily i don’t have fever…yesterday i coughed non-stop..till 3++am only then i fall asleep i think… as a result i was dizzy while the first 2 periods-maths were on on this morning..but i force myself to absorb as much as possible what the teacher was teaching at the front there…if for last time,i think my head would definitely fall on the table already..however it no longer to be like that..after entering form 6, i could feel that i became more mature and is more capable of coping with difficulties..i’m forced to grow up mentally..i’m forced to be more alert and etc..it’s good..i do not pamper myself anymore..dad and mum are always scolding me for not taking good care of myself,may be they scare that i will become the next H1N1 victim as the immune system of my body is not strong enough..lolz…aiya no need worry la..i got 7 ten years mah..keke….i will take good care of myself de la..don’t worrry^^ and also don’t scold me again..lolz

it’s time for me to drop my ‘heart thing’s at here…sigh…today is the last day for the one week holiday..tomorrow gonna back to school again..haiz..i haven finish my homework..there’re 8 more chapters notes for physics,12 muet essays,muet project etc..and i haven revise chemistry..damn..it’s because of my laziness again…during this holidays,i attended lots of tuition classes,watched movie,online,went out with friends..and may be did a little bit of homework(keke)…the members of the gang are becoming less and less as some of them need to further their studies in other states..in different colleges and universities..and somemore i feel that the relationship between the members changed..i wonder why..did i do anything wrong but i didn’t realise it??we are no longer as friend as last time..there’s ‘needle’ in everyone’s heart..problems occur between most of  the members…i’m sad about it..why can’t we all just back to original??back to the time we all meet and have fun together??there’re just happiness..laughing non-stop while blowing water…every time yum cha till becoming the last customers…be the late comers for playing basketball and hiking..splashing water at each other and acting weird pose in lost world…find the period for singing k at the cheapest price..staying overnight in someone’s house to play pc,eat supper,play games,listen to songs,chat,sleep…having group chat in msn with a long list of members where people are shooting at each other..haha…all these happpy and sweet memories..which are able to make me smiling while flashing back….BUT now..does it really have to change??change to escaping ppl or less talk to each other??why??change to beh song people easily??why??did i do anything wrong??if  SORRY manages to make things back to original,i would like to say————–SORRY!!!

i took a nap in this afternoon before i went for tuition…i ponteng the kolokium class so that i could return home to sleep..swt isn’t??lolz when i woke up,i saw the weather outside changed..totally changed…the sky became dark and the wind kept on blowing…followed by raining…it provided some conforts however it strongly indicated my today’s mood!!!today my mood fall down till the bottom of the hill due to the WORST results which i achieved..i had never get such rubbish marks all these years..and now i got it for not only 1 subject..how come…during the physics lesson,i could feel that my heart sink and sink and sink…the brain was all blank and i couldn’t even breath for few seconds..some of the classmates were all running towards the front table to see their results..what about me??i just walked into the lab and sat on my usual place..without any action…it’s because i wasn’t 7+1??no…it’s just because i didn’t want to face and not dare to face it…i got 48 for maths,46 for chemistry and 63 for physics…while the smart students in the class passed the exam with flying colours..oh my god…when being compared to them I AM NOTHING in this game!!!CHRISTINA if you still behave like this, YOU ARE PLANNING TO FAIL IN STPM & BEING KICIKED OUT FROM THIS GAME!!!!!!! THE NEXT LOSER WILL BE YOU!!!!!!!!

27/7 was my dad’s birthday..we went out to have dinner together..i still remember when i was small i will make a card to wish him HAPPY BIRTHDAY..although it’s not well-designed and beautiful..however when i grown  up i am quite reluctant to wish him happy birthday..i wonder what’s the reason which causes my mouth is hard to be opened and mention those 2 words….shy??nervous??not brave enough??i don’t know…even when my mum reminded me about it,i just nodded my head..actually i remembered it…his friends,collegues and even my friends also sent the regards to him..but what about me??i’m his daughter but i didn’t do anything and just act like normal…may be even more passive..i wonder why…am i bad??i think i’m useless…

why..why it ended up like this??does it really end up like this??omg…how come..6RB..ya..i entered it successfully…but it didn’t go well as what i thought..as i had expected last time,being a 6RB student, there are lots of homework and pressures need to be faced..i can’t finish all the homework during school time…i need to pay full attention to the teachers throughout the whole day..there’s no any excuses for me to ‘memancing’ in the class…i have to force myself to be in the best condition all the time…and i gonna active in co-curricular activities…i need to stay back in the school for all those meetings…i still need to go for tuition classes almost every day..and do all the tuition work..the exam is around the corner..and yet i haven started my revision especially for chemistry and physics..i’m stressed…i’m tired…i’m pressured..but i know that i can’t fall down and there’s no excuse for me to fall down as well…what can only do is to face it…’form 6 life is like that de la..’ is always being beared in my mind…but still there’re many pitfalls in front of me…recently i am unhappy with what i heard from my friend…i didn’t even realise it until the time my friend told me…my friends and mum consoled me and told me not to worry about that…what you should do and suppose to do is concentrate in your studies…but how come..i can’t manage to do it…it keeps on repeating in my mind..sometimes it even reaches the stage which causes me to hate myself and it’s cant be forgiven..i regretted for what i had done and wonder is my action right or??i..i..dunno..still can bear for it for how long..when they’re looking at me,i just got a feeling that they look down at me and dislike me…it’s my misconception??is because of my sensor broken down jor??

今天我和家人参加了爸爸的堂弟的婚礼..他是我奶奶娘家那边唯一的一个男丁..大人们说,传宗接代的任务都是交给他的..所以他们把这婚礼看得也蛮重要的…哈哈..看着新娘..好漂亮喔..婚纱好美好美…以后如果我有机会的话,我一定会选一件白白的婚纱..浅色系列的晚装..然后牵着自己喜欢的人的手,走在那红地毯上…两个人开心幸福的样子..好美好美的一幕喔…哈哈…我在发白日梦吧??这些事,作作梦也好啦..反正也不会亏什么的..嘻嘻..在这个说大不大说小不小的地球上…在茫茫人海中..遇见一个喜欢你,同时你也喜欢他的人,不容易..真的很不容易…不谨如此,两个人还得经过一波三折,各种摩擦,各样难关…才能达到终点-幸福的开始…人家说现在的婚姻很难天长地久,不是男的变心,就是女的出轨..(本人认为男性变心较多)可是我常常有一个疑问..你难道不是真心喜欢他/她,才会选择和他踏上红地毯的吗?那么为什么你还要做出伤害你喜欢的人的事呢??我不明白..真的不明白…算了啦..想那么多干嘛啦…

tomorrow is the forth day i’m being in 6RT…although there’re many complaints from me at the beginning,but i think i can suit myself at there already..even though it’s still noisy..swt..everyday i just keep on doing my work silently in the class..and listen to the teacher while he/she is teaching..as i’m a slow-heated person i just sit at there and wait for the classmates to talk to me..all my 6RT classmates,if you think i’m cool and may be got a bit bossy..then i would like to say SORRY to all of you because it’s just i face some difficulties to socialise with new friends at the beginning…after sometimes may be we can get know to each other and become good friends…ya..chris needs sometimes..lolz..6RB..do i get the opportunity to enter it??i’m not sure about it..i don’t want to think much because i just wish to continue my studies…i had been wasting one month in RPS..ACS is a new start for me..i really gonna become more and more hardworking..as the exam is being held at the end of july..it’s just around the corner..i do not hope to fail any subjects even though everybody always say that failing the form 6 exam is a normal thing…wish me good luck!!!